Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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