can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
