I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
