is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
