So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
