Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
