Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
