dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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