There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
