So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
