Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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