I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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