I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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