I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
