Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Operation Purity has been aborted
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
