I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
