is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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