had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
