Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
