this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
