Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
