Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
