i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
