bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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