well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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