There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
