Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
