In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
