I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
