i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
