I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
