I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
