Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
