i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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