Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
