Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We're too hungover to prance.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
