i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
