.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
