Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
