Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
