; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
