the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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