is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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