you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
