Just fell off a train. Bad.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
