We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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