No awkward lesbian experiences without me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
