WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
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Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
