Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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