it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
