Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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