Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
